How to Encourage Toddler Independence
Toddlers love doing everything “all by myself!”; this push for independence is a big part of their development.
Encouraging toddler independence helps build important lifelong skills like decision-making, self-control, and confidence.
You can support your toddler’s independence by making simple changes to your home, everyday tasks, and playtime.
Toddlers are known for their strong opinions—and their even stronger desire to do everything “all by myself!”. From wanting to put on their shoes to pouring their own water, this new push for independence is a big part of toddlerhood. And though it may take lots of patience and being ok with messes and mistakes, nourishing this independence is important to their growth.
By learning when—and how—to take your hands off the wheel, your toddler can learn valuable skills, such as decision-making, problem-solving self-control, confidence, and responsibility. This can set them up for lifelong success!
5 Ways to Support Your Toddler’s Independence
Create a Toddler-Friendly Environment for Independent Exploration
This is a kind of like babyproofing, but instead of setting up your home to keep your kid out of everything, you make it more accessible for them to do more on their own. These simple gestures can help you loosen the reins while giving your toddler a boost to their self-esteem:
Adding a step stool to the bathroom so they can wash their hands by themselves
Putting a toddler tower in the kitchen so they can help with meal prep
Getting them slip-on shoes so they can put shoes on without your help
Moving favorite toys or books to a lower shelf so they can get them out when they want
Offer Your Toddler Options During Daily Routines
Letting your little tike make simple decisions during familiar activities allows them to dip their toes into independence without being overwhelmed by it. And it’s a great way to prepare them for self-led routines as they approach school age! You can offer options for things such as:
Which shirt they should wear for the day: “Do you want to wear your dinosaur shirt or doggy shirt?”.
What color cup they should use at breakfast: “Would you like a red, blue, or green cup today?”.
Which story you should read at bedtime: “Should we read your favorite book or a new one?”.
Give Them Chores to Do Alongside Your Own
Toddlers love to mimic the things their parents and caregivers do! And since a pair of extra hands never hurts when it comes to chores, why not let them join you?! Sure, your toddler might not yet be able to scrub the toilets or dust the fine china, but there are plenty other ways they can lend a hand that will help them learn responsibility and feel good about themselves. For example:
While folding laundry: Ask them to find all the socks or clothing of one color.
When you sweep the floor: Give them a small broom to help out (a dustpan and brush are perfectly pint-sized!).
As you wash the dishes: Hand them (non-fragile, non-sharp) dishware to dry for you.
Let Your Little One Lead Playtime Activities with You—or Alone!
Playtime is a great time for toddlers to explore and exercise their independence! Try letting your toddler decide which toys to get out, what game to do during family game night, or which roles you take on during pretend play (you can use these pretend play prompts to get their imagination flowing!).
And yes, it’s ok—and actually encouraged!—to let them play alone. Give your toddler a safe, screen-free space to play with a few open-ended toys like blocks, cars, or dolls. Then, go about your own activities while your child plays! Just make sure you stay within ear- and eyeshot in case they need your help.
Ask Your Toddler to Take Over Small Tasks
It’s easy to get into the habit of doing everything for your toddler, especially on days when you’re in a hurry. But letting your toddler take over (when you have the time) can help them gain confidence in their skills and encourage problem-solving. Try asking them to do tasks that are small, but slightly challenging. This could include squeezing toothpaste onto their toothbrush, putting on their pants, or emptying their dinner plate into the garbage. Give them time and space to figure it out on their own, only assisting them when they ask you for help.
Want to recognize your toddler’s efforts? Check out these 6 ways to praise your toddler that are more helpful than just “good job”.
Letting your kid do more things by themselves can be a nerve-wracking and frustrating process (for you both!) and may create a bit more work on your end—but it’s so rewarding in the long run. By offering these age-appropriate ways to explore and make choices, you’re helping your little one grow into a capable, curious learner!
