What To Do If Baby Has a Fear of Strangers

Hello, baby!

From aunts and uncles to friends and neighbors, baby is constantly meeting new people. Meeting people is a great way to work on baby’s social skills. While this is usually a happy occasion for the adults and older children involved, meeting new people can sometimes be hard for baby.

They may feel anxious or confused by new faces and voices, sometimes called “fear of strangers” or “stranger anxiety”.

Even as they get older, some young children may be a little scared to meet unfamiliar people. No matter baby’s age or experience with new people, there are lots of ways to introduce them to new faces.

How should babies and children react when they meet new people?

Some babies are scared, while others don’t seem to mind it at all. If baby is afraid, remember fear of strangers is a normal stage of child development. So there is nothing wrong with baby being scared—it’s actually a very common reaction!

How do you know if your child has a fear of strangers?

Here are some signs:

• Crying
• Fussiness
• Fearful look on baby’s face
• Baby becomes very quiet
• Attempting to hide
• Hanging on to a person they feel safe with

When does fear of strangers begin?

Every baby is different, but most will begin to develop this fear around 7-10 months of age. For some children it will last a few months, while others will continue to have a fear of strangers for years.

How can you help your child meet new people and reduce their fears?

Even if your baby has a fear of strangers, it’s important for their social skills to meet new people. So here’s how to help them with meeting people:

• Bond with baby. When baby bonds with their primary caregiver, they develop an attachment, which gives them a sense of safety and comfort. Healthy attachment is important for their social skills and development.
• Keep physical contact with baby while they meet new people. Hold their hand or have them sit on your lap while meeting new faces.
• Stay calm and greet the new person warmly, to set a good example.
• If your child has a lovey, take it along when they meet new people.
• If possible, introduce baby to new people at home or in a place they’re familiar with. If baby is going to be in a new place, like a daycare, go in with them a few times before you leave them there to help them adjust to the environment.
• Try playing with baby while they meet new people. Give the new person a toy to play with while they meet baby, or invite them to join in on a game. They can also help with daily activities, like reading a bedtime story to baby.
• If your child is old enough to understand, try to prepare them to meet new people. Say, “we are going to meet my friend today.” Your child can give the new person a gift, or ask them a question to make the meeting go more smoothly.
• You can also encourage your child to become more independent if they are old enough, which may help with their confidence and communication. Have them try playing alone for a little bit each day.
• Consider video chatting! While this may not be the primary way children meet new people, babies as young as 8 months can learn how to interact over video.

Even if it doesn’t go well the first time baby meets someone new, don’t be discouraged! Keep introducing baby to new people, but also remember to be patient. Don’t push them, and if they’re crying continuously, remove them from the situation. The process doesn’t need to be rushed.

If your baby has a fear of strangers that is intense and doesn’t seem to be lessening at they get older, speak to a healthcare provider.

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