More Than “Good Job!” Try These Ways to Encourage Your Child
Learn how to encourage your child with praises other than “good job”. This article offers tips for specific praise, thanking, acknowledging effort, and more! Motivate your child’s success today!
- Instead of “good job,” tell your child exactly what they did well. This helps them understand what to repeat.
- Thank your child for their actions or describe what you see them doing. This acknowledges their effort.
- Praise the hard work your child puts in, not just the outcome. This motivates them to keep trying.
How many times a day do you say “good job!” to your child? Probably a lot! You may say it to them when they answer a question correctly, draw you a picture, or complete a chore. If your child is in school, they may also hear “good job” from teachers or other adults.
While it’s always wonderful to hear that you’re doing a “good job,” there’s also benefits to changing up this common phrase so children learn other forms of encouragement. This can help to show your appreciation for specific actions, which helps children repeat these actions in the future.
Here are some ideas to praise children without just saying “good job!”
Give specific praise.
When saying “good job” to your child, be specific with exactly what they did well. This helps them learn exactly what was good that they did, and it positively encourages this behavior in the future. Some examples of specific praise are:
- You made your bed all by yourself! That’s great!
- I loved the way you said hello to your teacher this morning and thanked them for opening the door for you.
- You are working so hard on cleaning up these toys! Way to go.
Encourage your child by thanking them.
Rather than praising your child for doing something well, you can acknowledge and encourage their action by simply thanking them. Some examples of thanking instead of saying good job:
- Thank you for drawing this beautiful picture!
- Thank you for setting the table for dinner tonight.
- Thank you for being gentle when you pet the dog.
Say what you’re noticing.
When you comment on what you’re noticing your child doing rather than just praising them for the result, you encourage their positive behaviors. Try using phrases like “I notice” or “I see” to praise children for what they’re doing. Examples could look like:
- I see how hard you’re working to write your name! I’m so proud of you.
- I noticed you ate your vegetables!
Acknowledge the effort, not just the result.
Saying “good job” can often lead us to only acknowledge the end result. Children may be told “good job!” after acing a test, winning a game or creating a piece of artwork. But what about the work they did to reach that final result?
It’s important to acknowledge their efforts because children may not ace every test or win every game, but they are still putting in their best effort. By praising their effort rather than the result, they will be more motivated to keep trying. Some ways you can encourage them are by saying things like:
- You were so focused and such a supportive teammate throughout the whole game.
- You worked so hard to study your spelling words this week.
- Wow, I can see how much work you put into this. It’s beautiful!
Try nonverbal encouragement.
Not everything needs to be said! You can show praise and approval through:
- A high five
- A fist bump
- A hug or kiss
- A big smile
Ask them questions.
Questions can show interest. Show your interest in what your child does and creates by asking supportive questions. These can start a whole conversation where you can encourage them throughout. Some examples include:
- How did you figure out how to draw a flower like that?
- That was so cool when you kicked the ball! How did you feel about that?
- It seems like you’re really interested in math class. What’s your favorite part?
There are so many ways to encourage and support children, and it often depends on what feels authentic to you and your child. So no matter how you do it, try to encourage them throughout the day in different ways!
